Friends say: "I Korzhavina faith with a touch of sixties. Posts are not in compliance. Waving his hand: "God - not a nutritionist."
in the afterlife does not believe: 'stand before Lord, and he will say: "come, thy mother's leg!»
«Old fuck listens!" - Cheerfully tells me the other day Korzhavin in the handset. After complicated surgery - The eleventh day.
A month earlier, we are sitting in the Boston headquarters Korzhavina, and he says.
«As a child I met Ehrenburg, and I had a strange feeling: here come the end of the school in Moscow, Ehrenburg and get me into a military newspaper. I was convinced that he remembers me. And how to forget this ... So, in 1940, Ehrenburg came to Kiev after Paris, and I as a member of the school litkruzhka together with its leader, the came to him in a hotel - to invite speak at litkruzhke. Of course, he said that he was busy, can not come, and we left. And then I thought: why are just come, there must have been his poems to read. I came back and said: "Ilya Grigorievich you excuse me, the fact is that I do like to read poetry, but hesitated." Ehrenburg was a trendy, overseas, in a suit of unusual matter, lint. He said: "Well, read." I read. And some reason he liked it. So I thought that he remembered me. But when in 1944 приехал в Москву поступать в литинститут и встретился с Эренбургом, он нашу встречу не вспомнил, просто у нас с ним началось знакомство по новой. А вот Асеев I remember a kid in Kiev. And everywhere promoted my poetry. And when I arrived at the Literary Institute, I was already there with many of his words knew. And then we have with him a The last conversation was. I met him at the Literary Institute and say: "May I'll come to you the other day?" And he said: "You know, Em, I love you and want you to see, but as you start to buzz, but how will I sow, so better not .... " This was in 1945. Before my arrest had less than two years. "
arrest came at night. Search was a long time. "While Che was there to search, though, Em? - Sighs korzhavinskaya wife Lyuba. - Seven years ago at the Lubyanka, they showed us in his "case" inventory of property: a pair of socks, underwear ... »
The search was asked sternly:" Weapons have? "he snapped:" The machine gun under the bed. " Shouted: "not an island. Answer the question. "
Ten boys obschezhitskoy room. Korzhavin came to say goodbye to everyone. Soloukhin hugged and kissed her: "Emka! Come back soon! "One writer says, that Soloukhin Korzhavina and laid. Korzhavin - with pain: "But it's work! Absolute lie! You can not say such things! But Che was laying? I myself read the verses of which I planted, - openly, without concealment, in large auditoriums.
A Rasul Gamzatov the night came drunk, just before the arrest Korzhavina. And slept the whole scene search. "And when I approached him to say goodbye, he woke up, saw that I was dressed, and asked:" Uh-uh-m-k-k-ah! T-you to-to-succeeded? "But Tendryakov, yeah, pushed I have a good-bye. But it was difficult then ... The complexity of his situation: his father - the chairman of district council, and himself very sincerely believed in Communism ... "Lyuba - with the understanding: "Well, the more difficult path Tendryakov was then ... And on the scene of arrest Emochki wrote a wonderful story. But interestingly, Emochka hence Tendryakov and up to this scene, before this arrest was to you and your poems do not love you? "Korzhavin - mildly:" Well, probably not like ... »
remember Korzhavin me once said: "I do not divide people into those who read my poems, and those who do not read. And I do not have complex sex-bomb, all I have to love ... »
Since Korzhavin today quite blind, it does not watch TV, and listen. Two channels - NRT (New York Russian television) and RTVi - very carefully, every day. Listens to everything, but when begins advertising, grumbling: "I accept advertising, it is the motor trade, but in my eyes is not a success, and listen to her do not want to." On the screen - a jar next miracle cream, and a woman's voice pleads: "Give me a dazzling beauty!". Korzhavin nods: "Okay, right."
Blindly moving on apartment, he jokes: "Some speed limit is." Or: "As they say goners:" If the wind will not go to the women. "
Do not like it when its rank as to the dissidents, political fighters.
«main struggle in my life was not political, but for the authenticity of the poetry. For the authenticity of thought. General - for authenticity. - And after a pause: - Authenticity - is when you do those things that really matter. What would you write. Authenticity - it is harmony. That's no matter what was the poem, it is about harmony. It would incorporate or harmony, or offends a sense of harmony. When are repelled from the far from harmonious - is also a sense of harmony. Therefore, can not maintain that destroys the civilization, the foundations of life. Have to go against the flow of dead. "
He has his own very personal relationship with God and his own, some absolutely infant faith in God. Himself admits: "I have such faith - without theology." Friends say: "I Korzhavina faith with a touch of sixties. Posts are not in compliance. Waving his hand: "God - not a nutritionist." Of the Immaculate Conception: "Do not-e-ee, I think God does not need such tricks." In the afterlife does not believe: "shall be brought before the Lord, and he will say: "come, thy mother's leg!»
From recent conversations in Boston - both times in connection with faith:
«My father considered himself a secular man. And in fact related to the life he was religious. In a recent meeting in Kiev, shortly before my emigration and the death of his father, we had such a conversation.
«Em! And you know how to think? "- He suddenly asked me. I'm just confused. I say: "Well, many think so ..." I was already a famous poet, my articles matter of controversy. Then he asked bluntly: "God is or not?" I said there, but somehow it all became confusing to explain, and my father interrupted me: "No, you do not know how to think, but there is no God. "
But in the collectivization of the father was worried about people afraid. Talked about socialism: "I understand: the idea is beautiful. But people are dying on the streets. " Here it is thinking about the people who hunger in the streets dying. And many thought. And this nedumanem protected from the horrors of life. "
Lyuba brings Korzhavin soup. He: "Lyubanechka! Where's a spoon? - And the importance of: - I'm cranky. No soup spoons do not eat. "
Lyuba: Emochka very funny, right? You know, when we lived in Moscow, in a cooperative house once at a meeting of residents were deciding what color to paint the walls and the entrance corridor, so Emochka raised his hand and said very authoritatively: "You have to paint it green color. We both were in jail. "
A Korzhavin farther - about thoughts:
«Any thinking begins with a misunderstanding. When there is a misunderstanding, begins thinking. And if From the very beginning, all you know, it's no longer thinking. I do not deny that such an intuitive comprehension of life ... But it intuition, it is still pushing the idea. What is thought? This desire to understand everything what you are dealing with. The nature of things, relationships, people, words. " - "But we can understand something completely wrong?" - "Of course! But if you do not think - then it just is not right! If you do not think, do not raise the question of correctness. " - "And you were wrong?" - "Well, what was not wrong! I also believed in communism in Stalin. - And after a pause: - In every conversation we must try to understand the interlocutor, and if you object to - to listen ... When I speak the youth, saying: "Learn to hear the meaning of spoken words. Her - too ". And - a laugh: "That said, the word" youth "and remembered: with youth, we as a joke spoke to each other: "Old man!" and then suddenly it became clear that the "old man Korzhavin" - it's not a joke, but the truth here is that the year ... »
When questioned about their health, shrugs: "With the ladies on such topics do not talk ..." Think about it: "Maybe my life is coming to an end ... But I am against the rest of their lives do not mind, it is intended God. That's just my present-day dependence on his own belly ... "Lyuba: Emochka loves to laugh at themselves. Especially in the hospital. " And shows little leaves on which records for Korzhavin during his medical examinations: "Who is ahead in the bag urine is not inclined as a prophet, looking ahead." Or this: "I've lived without fear. But was caught ... x urology.
«Enough! .. Enough! .. Became laziness sadness ... »
Enough! .. Enough! .. Laziness became sad. I look
to heaven, from the bottom of the well.
I may be, then come back,
But the fact that I left - did not return.
That rage thoughts, their visual splendor,
That the sanctity of friendship and affection, and fun.
That every day in captivity blunt woes,
As if in a daze lead hangover.
... There's ashamed to live - may God forgive me.
There lies a swamp and marsh is road.
But it pushes to the revelation
shame and shame leads to the realization of God.
It is impossible to liberate the country from
murky charms of a dead idol,
But life is always at stake,
and clearly link the fate - his own and the world.
I lived in this return and wait, -
Though the days of my life swallows the other.
Though I still do not find many,
When I come back ... And many - do not know.
Let It Be ... I'm tired of living, feeling ashamed,
I could not live like this ... And now - went from there.
Not gone ... All the same fate Us
tormented me ... And I have another - I will not.
The same rage, the same shame in me,
All the same words from the lips now fail.
And you can live ... And being in a foreign country
Over himself ... And it is - will respond.
And there, and - here ...
not laziness, not just sadness,
A belief that all is not so bad.
What am I - back ... Although if I go back,
I'll be old. And it all does not matter ...
1974
Continued. Start at number 2, dated 14 January
To be completed
Zoya YEROSHOK
observer of the Novaya »
20.01.2011
I apologize Zoe YEROSHOK, I deleted one paragraph and posted another poem ...
Original
Envy
Can stitch stringing
more complicated, more simply,
But nobody can call
the Senate Square.
And whatever views you
he tried to splash out,
General Miloradovich
not know Kakhovskogo.
, let trivia bits you
often very frequent,
but will not elicit
names of accomplices.
We will not be topped ...
And in nomad tents,
snows,
Real Women Do not go for us.
1944
Article Alexei Bayer in "Snob"
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